It’s New Year’s Day again—which means it’s time to resolve to lose a bunch of weight and get in shape.
Again.
Before you commit to the latest diet, cleanse, detox, or “one weird trick”, though, ask yourself a simple question:
To understand why this is important, practice reading these paragraphs out loud without laughing:
- “Before putting anything in my mouth, I will carefully research its value in “calories”, “points”, or “blocks”. Then I will check this value against the list I’ve kept of everything else I ate today, to make sure I have enough free “calories”, “points”, or “blocks” to eat it. Then I will add it to the list. I will do this for every meal and snack, every day, without fail, until I die.”
- “Life without beef, pork, eggs, or butter will be totally fulfilling. I won’t ever miss bacon, prime rib, or a loaded baked potato. Fat-free sour cream and non-dairy cheese taste exactly like the real thing. I love lentils.”
- “I can pedal a bicycle that goes nowhere for 40 minutes a day, week after week, month after month. This is the best and most productive use of my time.”
Has it suddenly become obvious why your New Year’s resolutions never seem to survive the change of seasons?
Lose A Bit Of Belly Fat Every Day With This One Weird Trick!
Eat like a predator, not like prey.
Yes, that’s a link. Click it.
You don’t need to buy any books, join any gyms, or spend any money on anything but food. If we needed to read an entire book to learn how to eat, our ancestors would have starved to death millions of years ago.
It’s easy. When I eat like a predator, I feel stronger. Sharper. Quicker. More alive. I like that.
When I eat like prey, I slow down. I lose my edge. I become weak, irritable, and vulnerable. I don’t like that.
Here it is again. Eat like a predator. Click it.
Live in freedom, live in beauty.
JS
Yes, this one is aimed at new readers! Please forward it to anyone searching for help: the share widget is below. They may not have the ears to hear: as the gnolls say, hazrah nachti. You’ve done what you can.
More soon.
[…] / Posted on: January 01, 1970GNOLLS.ORG – It’s New Year’s Day again—which means it’s time to resolve to lose […]
Damn straight!
those bullet points are amazingly funny, I was reading ELAP already funnily enough.
happy new year J Stanton and all other gnolls
Haha! Good stuff, J.
[…] Will You Go On A Diet, or Will You Change Your Life? […]
As a side note to the predator/prey eating strategies (I’ve been fully in the predator/intermittent feasting zone my whole life) I’m currently staying with a vegetarian family.
Holy moly – huuuuge servings and multiple plates of fodder, meals take an hour or two to prepare, the meal itself goes for an hour of constant chewing and lip smacking, then an hour after the meal is finished they’re planning the next meal.
It’s kinda hilarious – me having eaten a slab of meat maybe 16-24 hours ago and still not interested in food, but surrounded by grazers. :p
@Ash Simmonds:
Don’t give in to temptation and start chomping down on them, at least until you’ve cleared it with your lawyer, many jurisdictions take a very hard line against such behavior.
But hey, how many of us can give up ice cream or cake or whatever carbage forever.
I busted out laughing at the “I love lentils.”
Oh man.
I told my friend the other day that humans are the only living thing that doesn’t know itself on the most basic terms.
He didn’t see my point until I asked him how many dogs have written books on what they should be eating.
Humans are so smart it makes us stupid…. 😉
I’m a physical therapist. Is it ok if I print this and post it in my exam room?
Paul:
Sometimes a reminder is all we need.
eddie watts:
It's amazing how silly the mainstream advice sounds when you simply rephrase it in non-scientific language.
Jason:
Good to see you again. Happy holidays!
Ash:
“Fodder” is an apt description.
Not coincidentally, two hours is about when the blood sugar tsunami from your average “complex carbohydrates” starts to crest and break.
WalterB:
“If men can survive the Bataan Death March, I can not eat a slice of cake even though everyone else is.” –Jim Steel
daniel:
It's not that we don't know ourselves — it's that we apparently have the unique power to convince ourselves otherwise.
Chris Johnson:
Yes, of course! Just make sure to credit it to me.
JS
It’s amazing how eating like a predator makes it easier to evaluate potential food that falls outside of the usual habits. Small bowl of Mom’s homemade ice cream on my birthday? Absolutely. Random cookies left out in the break room at work? Forget about it.
Every year I plan to take a “Lose Weight Resolution” lol I do try a couple of days but then again the same old food habits (my love for food) spoils everything.
Now I have decided, I'll never make any resolutions instead I will just keep on trying to lose weight without bounding myself into some lame resolution (that is meant to be broken)
Beowulf:
Quite true. The tone and content of ELAP are completely intentional. If you envision yourself as a predator, you'll make better choices — because they flow from your identity, not from an externally imposed set of rules.
I haven't written about this in detail, but I spoke of the difference between internal and external motivation in my interview with Jason Seib.
Sanaya:
Even better, don't make a resolution to “lose weight”! Resolve to eat like a predator, and I suspect you'll find that your goals for health and weight start falling into place as you take more and more of the steps it contains.
JS
Hi J,
About 2 years ago, I started eating like predator, without knowing about your blog and gnolls! It was a life-changer and since then, my resolutions are the same every year: keep / maintain my health! And it is rather easy: I am already healthy. After tons of initial reading, cross-checking, etc, etc, I gathered some much detailed knowledge which in the end leads to very simple daily habits, so simple that all this knowledge has actually become superfluous 🙂 It does come in handy at times, when I have a discussion of such topics (which is rather rare because I don’t see the point in annoying people with what I know is working great for myself – I also dislike being lectured so I don’t bother).
Happy new year JS et al
Prime rib is great etc but I find people are a little less enthusiastic when I drag in some grass fed lamb liver, or brains, bones for broth and lesser cuts like shoulder or beef tendon.. using all the parts rather than just the “nice ” bits..( funnily enough offal bits are cheaper too )
It is also unusual to “go without” although looking through one of the more popular diets this year was the 5-2 advocated by a very amusing british doctor turned journalist Michael Mosley.. ( his research is compelling though and has been known in paleo circles from way back ) ..
Predators need prey to survive but there has to be balance, in nature this is observable, unfortunately modern man has be clever enough to mess that balance up which is also observable ..
This years resolution really should be about reversing some of the damage from global warming and pollution, curbing appetite to mere satiety rather than excess, and getting government out from the pocket of vested interests. ( grain, sugar, pharma, CAFU..)
La Frite:
It's much easier to maintain good health than it is to fix bad health. I'm glad you've found a simple set of principles that works for you!
Cyclops:
I don't hold out much hope for enacting change through the US government, which still thinks it's a good idea to subsidize corn production to the point of massive environmental destruction by forcing us to feed it to our cars at a net energy loss.
That being said, yes, our current way of life is completely unsustainable, both in numbers and in method. That's just one small part of the conundrum I explore in The Gnoll Credo.
JS
I actually do love lentils. They also seem to be one of the few starchy carbohydrate sources my body can tolerate. Potatoes and rice make my blood sugar go crazy, but lentils keep things pretty level.
Since adding lentils to my diet of primarily meat and spinach, I’ve noticed better strength gains in the gym and weight management is easier.
Steve:
If you're regularly putting forth heavy effort, some carbohydrate can help you maintain that. Some people prefer occasional refeeds every 3-7 days, some people do better with a more constant intake.
Also, it's often hard to ingest sufficient calories on VLC to gain muscle mass. I have a hard time doing that under any circumstances!
That's interesting about the lentils. I know people with the opposite problem: potatoes are doable, but beans make their BG go nuts. I don't know why.
Note that a period of low-carb is often necessary to regain your metabolic flexibility so that you can tolerate carbs again. All of the starch propagandists I know went through a long period of VLC — after which they suddenly found they could tolerate carbs again and subsequently got religion that VLC was stupid. No, it was absolutely necessary in order to help rebuild a population of functional mitochondria…and while I'm glad they've seen success, some people's mitos are so broken by poor (epi)genetics and/or too many years of metabolic dysfunction that they have no functional population to rebuild from and have to stay VLC. I'm glad you're not one of them!
JS
A healthy diet is ideal for weight loss, but it is also necessary to exercise. I am sure there are no magic creams, but I found some at Las Mejores Cremas that have helped me to cream fat, especially the bamitol ointment
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