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The Best Hot Weather Exercise Wear...is a Hockey Practice Jersey

Hot weather work or exercise presents the melanin-challenged among us with a conundrum.

Strip down to the skin, and the sun burns us to a crisp…yet long-sleeved jerseys are uncomfortably hot. Usually we compromise with a short-sleeve jersey (or a T-shirt) and sunblock.

Yet I’ve found a better solution. Thinking back to my youth hockey days, I remembered our jerseys…

“Wait,” you say. “Hockey is a winter sport, and team jerseys are really thick and heavy.” Yes, game jerseys are heavy, because during a game, you play in shifts…perhaps 1/3 of the total minutes, not to mention the breaks between periods and the pre-game wait.

Practice jerseys, however, are a different story. Practices often last for hours, everyone is skating the entire time, and between the huge pads and helmet and the heavy shorts and socks, you get extremely sweaty even in a refrigerated ice rink. And the coach won’t let you tear up your nice game jersey in a practice anyway…so you buy and wear a practice jersey. They are made out of extremely lightweight polyester mesh, with thousands of tiny ventilation holes.

I bought one about a year ago to test my theory, and it worked so well I bought more. Practice jerseys make a T-shirt feel like a trenchcoat, and a cycling jersey feel like a parka: even the slightest breeze blows straight through. Being 100% synthetic, they dry out instantly when wet. And they weigh less than any special-purpose athletic jersey I’ve found, whether marked “triathlon” or “cycling” or “running”.

Best of all, they’re cheap: $14-18 is typical, so you can buy several for the price of a single “competition” jersey. Bonus: you don’t look like a billboard.

I’ve tried several brands, and the best I’ve found so far is Tour CDN. They use the lightest-weight mesh, and almost all the seams are felled (many brands use flat seams, which tend to unravel even when finished.)

Here is one of mine in action:

I found mine here. (Note: I bought these jerseys with my own money.)

Some hints to keep in mind:
* They run very large because they are designed to go over hockey pads. Unless you are a giant you will want a medium, and if you’re short you might even be into kids’ sizes.
* Since this is hot weather wear, black and other dark colors are a poor choice. You want the “home” jerseys, which are white with colored trim. (“Away” jerseys are dark with lighter trim.)

I hope this helps others get outside during the dog days of summer!

Mountain Biking In Jeans

Having finally finished my errands in early evening, I drove a couple miles to a local trailhead in order to squeeze in a mountain bike ride before the sun set. Upon arrival, I unloaded my gear…bicycle, helmet, gloves, pack with water and toolkit, shoes, riding clothes…

…riding clothes?

Oops.

Ordinarily I don’t care much about what I wear when I ride. My usual gear is a hockey practice jersey and whatever shorts are clean that day. But I had arrived at the trailhead in jeans and a collared shirt, and there wasn’t time to drive home and back and still get a ride in before dark.

So I stripped off the shirt and belt, rolled up my pant legs, saddled up, and started pedaling. And you know what?

Riding in jeans is a bit sweaty, but after perhaps ten minutes that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I am on a trail in the mountains, riding my bicycle. I hear the birds call and the insects drone and the rushing of the creek, I see the lupines and the mule’s ears and the phlox and the hundreds of other flowers I don’t even know the names of, and I stop to watch the sun set over the lake. Then I begin my descent, flowing like water over the rocks and through the trees, quietly rolling downhill into the shadows of another cool, crisp summer evening…

…and though my jeans and I both need a wash, I’m far happier than the version of me who grumbled in disgust and headed home to surf the Internet or read a book about other people doing things.

Live in freedom, live in beauty.

JS

The Difference Between Me and Chuck Palahniuk Is That I Don't Pull My Punches

(Warning: contains spoilers if you haven’t read/watched Fight Club.)

Yes, Fight Club is an excellent book, but it pulls its punches.

It’s the equivalent of MMA fighting. The claim is “no holds barred”, but in reality, anything likely to cause real, lasting injury is forbidden. Everyone gets up, cleans up, and goes home to fight again another day. That is the case with the fictional Fight Club in the book, and it is the case with the novel and movie called Fight Club.

Palahniuk spends the first part of the book haranguing us about the shallowness of modern life, and sucking us into a reality in which Tyler Durden is building up a rebellion that will ultimately destroy modern industrial civilization and return us to a hunter-gatherer existence. “In the world I see—you are stalking elk through the damp canyon forests around the ruins of Rockefeller Center. You’ll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life. You’ll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. And when you look down, you’ll see tiny figures pounding corn, laying strips of venison on the empty car pool lane of some abandoned superhighway.”

Remember that speech from the movie? It’s even longer in the book.

And just when we’re starting to feel uneasy—because we’ve been going along and nodding our heads at every awkward truth about ourselves that comes out of Tyler’s mouth—just when we’re starting to confront the basic ugliness and inhumanity that lies behind even the richest civilization in history, which is ours…

…Palahniuk reveals that the narrator and Tyler are the same person, and that Tyler runs the body while Joe/Jack is asleep.

What a relief! Just when we were starting to have to take Tyler Durden seriously, the author lets us off the hook by revealing that it’s all done with mirrors. Tyler is just the narrator’s crazy alter ego—and suddenly the entire story is shrinkwrapped with an airtight layer of “That can’t really happen.” Suddenly we can regard all those awkward truths with ironic distance, suddenly Fight Club is just a book after all, and we can all go back to work without needing to punch our boss or piss in the coffeemaker. The revolution has been televised—on hundreds of millions of DVD players, over and over again.

In contrast, The Gnoll Credo drops us into an apparently fantastic world, with gnolls and orcs and lion-men. But as the book progresses, we slowly come to realize that their world has the same rules as our own—no magic, no gods controlling our fates, and no narrators leading an impossible double life. And as we learn more and more about gnolls, we slowly come to realize that they aren’t so different from humans after all…

And that is where Chuck Palahniuk would have pulled his punch. Just when the reader starts to become uncomfortable, he introduces an unbelievable element that allows us to retain a safe, ironic distance from the events and the message of Fight Club.

I don’t pull my punches.
I follow through, all the way to the end.
Instead of distancing you, pushing you away, I finish the narrative cleanly and without compromising.

Then, in the Epilogue, I pull the reader out of the world of the book and into the present time, confronting you directly with the consequences of what you’ve just read, and forcing you to decide—for yourself—where that leaves us, both as individuals and collectively as a species.

And that is the difference between me and Chuck Palahniuk.