I like your site and your articles very much but I think this part is just silly:

"any man who thinks you’re “too muscular” because you don’t look like a heroin addict is weak, insecure, and not worth your time."

Is any man who doesn't like obese women weak and insecure? Is any man who doesn't like skinny women weak and insecure?

If a man doesn't like a woman because she is too muscular then of course he isn't worth her time, because he won't be pursuing her.

What if women don't like muscular men? Are they just weak and insecure? What if the man truly is too muscular to be attractive?

In the real world what men actually like the heroin addict look? We know homosexual designers in New York like the look but I've never met a man in real life who likes that look.

Please don't take as a personal attack, I truly do like your articles very much. Thank you for putting in the time.

Hi JS,

"I'm not sure you understand the pressure young women put on themselves to look like the (Photoshopped) pictures in glamor magazines. I'm trying to get across to them that (as you say) the only people who really want them to look like that are gay fashion designers — the same people whose male ideal is a hairless, prepubescent boy with giant steroid muscles."

The pressure on women has nothing to do with my point. You said only an insecure man doesn't like a woman for how she looks, that is inaccurate. It takes a secure man, as it takes a secure woman, to know exactly what he wants. If a man is not physically attracted to a muscular woman, or a fat woman, or a skinny woman how could that possibly make him insecure?

If these women do face pressure to be thin (like most of the worlds female population is)it is disingenuous to tell them it is the fault of insecure men. Let's use Dana as an example:

"Guys went for me all the time in my late teens and early twenties. I’m no great beauty, but they did anyway. I was slender.

I did not remain slender. No one looks at me now."

Is that the fault of insecure men? To say to her "you're fine the way you are, it's HIS fault" would be a bald-faced lie. If men don't like you because you're too large then it very clearly is your fault. We shouldn't be giving these women excuses - they should be held accountable and take responsibility for their own actions.

Dana -

You have read this article. You know what makes people fat. You know what type of food promotes health. There is no earthly reason you should not be doing something about it.

I didn't quite understand the last paragraph of your response but I will say that no, I would not date a woman who ate potato chips and soda because that sends a clear message that she does not care about her health or her (eventual) appearance. A woman worthy of respect is one her treats her body right, not one who regularly eats poison. A woman's diet is just as important as her physical beauty and her attitude (or in fairy-tale world her 'inner beauty'). What you perhaps don't understand is that outward beauty is a manifestation of your inner beauty. If the outer is lacking then that is a clear indicator of something lacking on the inside. For instance: understanding the cause of obesity yet doing nothing about it.

Yin and yang. A person is not attractive because half of them is good. A person is attractive if the whole is good.

Many thanks for including me on the resources list. I feel very humbled to be in such distinguished company.

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Don't eat people; they are full of toxic sludge and besides it's probably illegal where you live. So, even if you think you can handle the tox load, be sure to check with a lawyer.